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Body language is one of the most powerful tools we use to connect, but it’s also one of the most misunderstood. Over the years, a handful of popular ideas have become “rules” — even though science tells a more nuanced story.
Let’s set the record straight on a few of the most persistent body language myths.
Myth #1: 93% of communication is nonverbal
You’ve probably heard that communication is 93% nonverbal: 55% body language, 38% tone and just 7% words. This is often referred to as the “7%-38%-55% rule”. However, it’s also one of the most misquoted stats in communication.
The “7%-38%-55% rule” comes from Albert Mehrabian’s research in the 1960s, but the context is key. Mehrabian’s studies explored how people interpret emotions when verbal and nonverbal cues conflict.
For example, if someone says “I’m fine,” but sounds irritated and looks tense, listeners are more likely to believe the tone and body language over the words themselves.
Related: 5 Ways to Effectively Manage Conflict (and Stay Calm Doing It)
So yes, nonverbal communication matters. It can reinforce or contradict our words. However, it’s not the whole story. In everyday conversation — whether we’re giving instructions, sharing ideas, or resolving conflict — words still carry significant weight.
Context, tone and body language work together to create meaning.
Myth #2: Closed body language means you’re closed off
One of the most “basic” body language tips is that closed body language signifies defensiveness, resistance or disinterest. This may include turning away from a person or crossing your arms and legs.
However, body language doesn’t work like a checklist. People cross their arms for all kinds of reasons. For instance, you might cross your arms to get comfortable, to stay warm or simply out of habit.
While reading body language cues can provide helpful information, it is not always foolproof and should not be used as such. Furthermore, the meaning behind a gesture depends heavily on the situation and the individual person.
One posture doesn’t automatically reveal what someone’s feeling.
Myth #3: Avoiding eye contact means someone is lying
Eye contact myths can be especially misleading. While some liars may avoid eye contact, many actually maintain more eye contact than usual to appear trustworthy. In fact, holding someone’s gaze too long can be a red flag as it’s often a tactic used to mask dishonesty.
Additionally, cultural norms play a huge role in eye contact. In some countries, steady eye contact is considered respectful; in others, it’s seen as aggressive or disrespectful. For people with social anxiety, autism or certain neurodiverse traits, avoiding eye contact isn’t a sign of deceit — it’s simply how they process interaction.
Related: 5 Body Language Signs of a Manipulator
Myth #4: Power posing changes your hormones
You might have heard that standing in a “Superman” stance can instantly boost your confidence by increasing testosterone and lowering cortisol. This claim comes from a 2010 study by Amy Cuddy that went viral. While the idea caught on in the business and self-help worlds, follow-up studies — including a large one led by Eva Ranehill in 2015 — couldn’t replicate the hormone effects.
That doesn’t mean power posing is worthless. If striking a bold pose before a presentation helps you feel more confident, go for it. Just know it’s likely your mindset doing the work, not your hormones.
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Myth #5: Mirroring is a foolproof way to build connection
Mirroring, or subtly matching someone’s gestures or posture, can absolutely build rapport and there’s research to back that up. But it’s a delicate dance. Excessive or obvious mirroring can backfire. No one wants to feel mimicked or mocked.
Instead of seeing mirroring as a trick, think of it as a natural byproduct of genuine connection. When we’re truly in sync with someone, we often mirror them without even realizing it.
Related: 9 Ways to Feel Human Connection in a Virtual World
Myth #6: Smiling means you’re happy
We often assume that if someone is smiling, they’re feeling joyful, friendly or at ease. But smiling, like any expression, isn’t always about happiness. People smile when they’re nervous, trying to be polite or even masking discomfort.
There’s even a term for this: the “non-Duchenne” smile — a smile that doesn’t reach the eyes. In contrast, a true, emotionally felt smile (a “Duchenne” smile) engages the muscles around the eyes and mouth.
Remember, a smile might signal joy, but it might also signal stress, politeness or social pressure. Like all body language, its meaning depends on context. If you truly want to understand someone, you need to look beyond the surface. You need to listen with more than just your eyes.
So, what’s the truth?
The real takeaway is this: Body language isn’t a secret code you can crack with a list of dos and don’ts. It’s fluid, highly contextual and deeply influenced by personality, culture and mood. A smile might hide discomfort. A fidget could mean boredom or excitement. A posture might signal nerves, or it’s just comfortable.
If you want to understand someone, look beyond a single gesture. Tune into the whole person — their tone, their words and the situation they’re in. Most importantly, remember that even trained professionals can misread signals. Authenticity can be mimicked, but not forever. The truth always finds its way through.
